Ticks and warts

Nathaniel has developed a number of new and interesting dilemmas. First is an apparent outbreak of ticks! Yes, you read that right, the boy has ticks. We found two on him and then one in his bed. After combing his bed and room and getting the two off of him we haven’t had any more problems…..until today. He came to me with a piece of lego that had a freaking tick on it! I am absolutely floored about what to do about it, why we would have ticks in the house. The dog has been moved outdoors for over two weeks now, I put a tick collar on her just in case it was her, but do I put one on Nathaniel as well? I now check the girls continuously and nothing, just Nathaniel. If anyone has an idea of how we might have an outbreak of ticks, when my kids are never in the woods, no one else appears to be afflicted, please feel free to send your suggestions.

The other lovely development is a wart on his thumb. It’s huge…like his thumb has grown another thumb on top of it. He’s wearing the wart patches and enjoys watching the process of it doing it’s nasty decomposition thing….UGGGG.

We are talking warts and ticks, its like our own strange version of the plagues….I’m expecting hail and locusts any minute now. And if we have warts and ticks now, I’m sure puberty is going to just be a blast for him. I’m sure he’ll be a hot commodity on the chick scene.

Rachael is doing well, she’s still struggling with Delaney’s passing. She’s had trouble sleeping lately, but I don’t think she understands why she’s so upset. She does occasionally ask questions about Delaney and why she died, but it’s hard to explain in a real way that a 6 year old understands…I truly don’t understand it myself, what do I say to her? She understands that she went to Heaven, that God wanted her there and that we’ll see her again, but how do I calm her fears that if a six year old can die, how do I know it won’t happen to her?

Peyton is great! We had Little Tales this morning and a wonderful lunch with Kay Bertoch and our friends Susan and Presley Dickson. After that we headed to the clinic for her CBC finger poke. Her counts came back decent, her Hemoglobin was 11.5 (lowest end of normal), platelets were 176 (low end of normal) and her ANC was 1300 (low of normal range). But they are good all things considered. She got her big doses of chemo for the week and in two weeks we head back for her spinal tap and chemo injections.

She continues to progress through treatment so well, I cannot tell you how thankful I am to say those words. It’s never far from my thoughts to know that the possibilities of relapse are there, that she isn’t in the low risk group, that there is a higher chance that her treatment would fail. But even when I repeatedly check a huge random bruise on her and I feel that sinking in my gut, I have to remind myself that healthy kids get bruises, it doesn’t mean anything. For the non-cancer family, it would be perfectly normal to watch an active 4 year old have bruises on her body, to see them get tired when they’re running on high speed all the time. For me, no matter how well I see her doing, it still strikes fear in my heart when she tells me “my legs hurt tonight” or “I’m really tired, I think I need a nap”…I remind myself over and over that it is the chemo, not the cancer coming back.

It always feels good to get those counts in my hand, especially when my mind has been running wild. To know that there is nothing out of the ordinary…our ordinary…and I can go to sleep peacefully tonight.

I guess that those words don’t seem terribly positive, but when you’ve been slapped in the face with the horribly unexpected, nothing seems out of the realm of possibility anymore. I have seen too many children relapse, too many children lose their battles, its hard not to get discouraged sometimes and let that project into fear for Peyton.

I keep the faith that God is control and that what is supposed to happen in his plan is going to happen. It doesn’t stop me from being anxious and worrying about what the future holds for us. But it does bring my comfort and peace with it.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
—Anissa