There are a lot of topics that I just don’t touch on here.
But HEY, if I’m going to do it….let’s do them ALL!
I voted Obama
I’m a Christian, I believe in God and we have a good relationship
Coke will always be better than Pepsi
The chicken came first
I was a breast-feeding, co-sleeping mom, I still am….co-sleeping, not breastfeeding, that’s just creepy at five
Lee Harvey Oswald couldn’t have acted alone
Sex is a wonderful thing, I’m highly in favor of it for all consenting adults that are not named Nathaniel, Rachael or Peyton Mayhew. E.V.E.R.
I think they should legalize, regulate and tax pot
Han Solo totally shot first
Ok.
So.
Now that we got all that out of the way, let me REALLY ruffle some feathers.
I was sort of planning to just stew silently about this one and then someone poked me about it to see if I had an opinion….and you KNOW I did.
You may or may not be familiar with the situation with Daniel Hauser and his parents Colleen and Anthony Hauser.
Daniel is a 13 yo boy from Minnesota who was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in January. After one round of chemo, his parents decided the treatments were too poisonous and declined to receive anymore chemotherapy. They, instead, exercised their right to practice religious freedom and follow the teachings of a group called the Nemenhah Band and seek alternative treatments.
The case was brought into the courts, a judge ordered that an X-ray be done on Daniel to see if there was tumor growth and when the parents found out that the tumor in Daniel’s chest, which had shrunk from the initial round of chemo, had grown back to the pre-chemo size, the mother took the boy and ran.
The oncologist testified that Hodgkins Lymphoma can be treated with a 80-95% success rate (not CURE rate, mind you), and the judge ordered that Daniel be taken into custody of the court.
Now the hunt is on for Daniel and his mother…if they are caught Daniel will be treated by an oncologist with a chemotherapy regimen he doesn’t want, but his own lawyer says he does not read, has a learning disability, and neither the disease or treatment has been explained to him well enough for him to make a decision.
Ok, then.
I guess the first thing I want to say is to the mother: WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you, woman?
The Native American “religion” they are claiming to be a part of isn’t even affiliated with any Native American tribe and is, in fact, pretty much a money making scheme….where, for a mere $250 initial payment and $100 annual, PLUS monthly “donations” you can be spiritually adopted and given a certificate that pronounces you a natural healer.
A certificate.
Like I can make on Photoshop and print in my office.
Seriously? I can hit Google for FREE and have 1000% more medical knowledge than these people have.
Colleen Hauser testified that she had been treating his cancer with herbal supplements, vitamins, ionized water and other natural alternatives…which were OBVIOUSLY not working since his X-ray showed significant growth of his tumor.
Water. Treating cancer with water. Oh, how I wish they would prove that worked. *sigh*
The second thing I want to say to this woman is: WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you, woman?
For REAL. I GET it that chemotherapy is absolute crap. Trust me, you did one round, we did it for over two and half years straight with a fun stint in radiation land as a bonus. Yeah, it sucks. BAD. I hated every day of it.
You know what? I was also on my knees thanking GOD for providing us a treatment because, twenty years ago? 80% of the kids who had Peyton’s kind of cancer DIED…it was pretty much a death sentence.
No, it’s not a perfect world, the treatment isn’t perfect by any means. The treatments don’t know what they’re killing, good cells or bad, and it does leave the kids weakened to the point where they are so very vulnerable that every tiny germ is a threat.
It SUCKS! I said that already.
You know what?
It’s the best thing we have and the best chance they have to live.
So, in my book, if you chose not to treat your child with the best possible option (and if alternative medicines were able to prove they WERE the best possible option, go with it! but they haven’t yet, TRUST me, we checked out a bunch of options) you are gambling with your child’s life…and all the cards are stacked against them. Do you not want to at least give him a fighting chance?
The last thing I really have to say about this woman is that she offends me. I know there are going to be a lot of people who disagree with me, and I’m ok with that. There will be those that believe that parents have the right to decide what kind of medical treatment their child recieves and no court has the right to tell you otherwise.
Here’s the thing with that arguement.
If someone came into YOUR home and shot at YOUR child, you’d sure as hell want the courts to protect your child then. Why? Well, because no one has the right to threaten your child’s life. How dare someone come in and try to kill your child?
How is denying your child the only treatment known to successfully put his cancer into long term remission anything less than threatening his life?
How is the court NOT responsible for defending him against that threat as well?
No more than I would say that it is your right as a parent to drown your child would I say its your right to deny them life-saving treatment.
If they were physically abusing him, no one would argue that the courts should remove him from the home….yet people feel it’s wrong for the courts to say that they can’t let him die without trying a known treatment.
I know too many parents who’d be eternally grateful for one more shot at a treatment with even a 1% chance at success for a child gone forever. I know parents who would have grabbed greedily at an 80% success rate…it’s an improvement over “there’s nothing we can do”. I have seen how far parents will go to fight for their child’s life and still not win. I have seen the ones that have taken their child to the very brink and lived to tell the tale.
Yes. This woman’s disregard for her child’s life offends me. When we have battled so hard for ours.
I don’t get it.
And, yes, there is a point when you say “no more”. We’ve had that conversation. At what point do you say “enough”?
I know my line in the sand.
I know the limits I would go to.
It sure as heck wouldn’t be while my child still had a good, fighting chance at life.
OH, BTW?
This is Dana…one of our most beloved friends….21 years old…5 year survivor of Hodgkins Lymphoma…BIG tumor…six rounds of chemotherapy….radiation.
Quality of life? I don’t think she’d argue that she HAS it.
I know for sure she’s improved ours.
**************************
So, I’ve ranted, I’ve opinionated, I’ve wiped off my little soapbox and put it away.
What do YOU think the courts should do for Daniel? Do you think his mother should go to jail for contempt of court for not showing up to the hearing? What would you do if the courts ordered you to give your child a treatment you disagreed with?
Please, discuss!
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Mom turned herself in and Danie’s under doctor’s care again. It makes me so happy to know he’s got a shot, but sad for her because I know how it is to want to just GO GO GO.
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Thank you!!
Definitely nuff said.
XOXOX
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:44 am
You know what? You make some great points and valid arguments. It’s hard to say anything but an opinion. I sure wouldn’t want to have to be the judge in this one and try to be objective about it.
I have two sets of parents in similar situations of reoccuring cancers with their kids. After the cancer coming back again and again, one family opted to go home on hospice and let their child die in peace and the other decided to fight to the bitter end.
Was either choice wrong? No, I don’t think one bit wrong.
But, I do know in my heart that up until those points, the parents knew they’d done everything they could to fight it.
I don’t think I could live with myself if my girl died and I didn’t think we’d done all we could to try.
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Thank you!! XOXOX
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Greg – You? You have NO idea.
Obviously.
Chrissis last blog post..Facing the world
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Greg,
I’m sorry that my words led you to believe that my heart isn’t open to Daniel’s mother’s pain. TRUST me, because my child DID have cancer, I know personally what it’s like to sit and stare at the door and wish that by leaving and running it would all just go away. But I never would have risked my child’s life based on my fears.
Here are some things I know to be true:
1. People who make wide, sweeping, generalized, black and white statements are often the most closed-minded
2. Cancer causes DEATH, so if chemo gives us a chance, I’ll take it.
3. There are MANY situations when taking a child away from their parents is more than right, it’s an absolutely necessary situation for the child’s safety and well-being
4. you want the money for medical research into potentially life-saving treatments? Tax the hell out of pot and rake in the money and funnel it into clinical trials
I hope that if I ever made a decision that put my child in harm’s way and threatened their life someone would step in and make the hard decision for me.
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:53 am
LOVE you!
I responded to Greg as well, thank you for defending me 😉
My honor? Saved by you!
on May 27th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Sorry that you must call me names… I hope it makes you feel better.
I hope you are never in the position that the state wants to take you children away–someone else deciding for you what it “safe.”
I pray that you child recovers from Leukemia.
…as I pray that my three year old daughter with ALL recovers. I still wonder if life itself is worth it at all cost. What about quality of life?
Maybe you are not as smart and intelligent as you imagine yourself. You certainly think you have all the answers.
And by the way…the comment was just as much of a response to the proceeding witch-hunt mentality of all the comments. I would be a fool to think you would not attack me also.
on May 27th, 2009 at 11:36 am
…and by the way–FYI
my daughter has ALL and she is getting chemotherapy.
My younger brother died of cancer when he was five.
Chrissi: to state I don’t have a clue…is so far from wrong. However, I am sorry for your loss. Appreciate and rejoice in what you have.
SOMEONES SPIRITUAL BELIEFS ARE ALWAYS VALID…REGARDLESS HOW YOU THINK OR FEEL DIFFERENT.
We all have the obligation to honor and protect the various religious beliefs…it is what America was founded on and if we lose that then we are all lose.
Colleen Hauser’s son is sick with cancer.
Come on people, treatment is never a guarantee for survival.
What chance does David have when he is emotionally traumatized by being removed form his family.
Does the government have the right to dictate beliefs as valid or not?
And remember, THERE IS NOW GUARANTEE FOR SURVIVAL, EVER!
I added a comment to this post to open the discussion to an intelligent debate of ideas. I made no personal attacks against anyone. I just asked for some Compassion for the Hauser family.
It is evident to me that regradless of what you think that you believe…
YOU TOO WOULD BE IN LINE TO NAIL JESUS TO THE CROSS!
Be careful who you follow, SHEEP!
on May 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I appreciate hearing your opinion as someone who’s been through this with her own child.
As a rule, I dislike government interference, but this case is complicated. Thanks for speaking up!
Merediths last blog post..What’s Better Than Dirty Carpet?
on May 27th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Greg, you might want to take a deep breath before you comment next time. I’m sorry that your child is ill. I can not even imagine.
I’m sorry that you believe that chemo causes cancer. But I think you have taken a side and are arguing it without looking at it from all sides. You’ve decided to go with chemo, to try and help your daughter. If you really believed that it causes cancer, as you stated in an earlier comment, why would you do it? My guess? Because you do believe it will help her survive.
That was the point of this post. That chemo is a life saving tool. It saved Anissa’s beautiful little girl. Does it always work, hell no. It’s a tool to try and help save a life. Daniel Hauser’s mother decided to take off, to not give her son that chance. To not even try and the courts interceded. That is what this post was about. Because Daniel deserves that chance to survive, just like Anissa’s daughter had and your daughter has.
In case you haven’t heard, Daniel’s mother brought him home and his now getting her son treatment.
Please stop attacking my friend. In just stating you are not attacking her, your following sentence was a blatant attack. Let it go. Agree to disagree. Or f’ing A, just hit the little red x at the top of the screen.
Issas last blog post..A little bit of random…but hey, that’s what I’m best at
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Wow this one is very hard…I am thankful that I have never been put in that position with my children, so I am not sure what I would do. My best friend died from Leukemia when she was 22 she went through the radiation the chemo the bone marrow transplant and none of it worked. My 6 year old nephew has a brain tumor they are doing chemo…he is responding to the treatment but the side effects as you know have been very hard. But like I said he is responding and that is what matters.
It is hard to know as a parent what you would do in that situation. I am not sure why this mother ran with her child, I can understand the fear of chemo how hard it is. I am glad the boy is getting treatment especially since it seems that it’s very treatable.
My real concern with this is the state stepping in so many times they have overstepped their bounds and as one person commented this is a slippery slope when we start giving all this power to the state. In this case they probably were right what concerns me is the times when they are not.
on May 27th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
This is such an interesting topic. For many reasons I’ve been thinking about the STATES/government involvement in childrearing, and in medical decision making.
As one parent of a cancer kid to another, I understand the exhaust all options opinion that you have. I can totally see your path. BUT as a one cancer parent to another, I can totally see why she, who has a TEENAGER, might react differently. Most of the comments have focused on the MOM, but, perhaps she was doing her darnedest to support the ridiculous notion that he didn’t want treatment anymore.
That is a true test of love. To support someone who is making a stupid decision.
I liked your comparison of protecting children from random shooters and such to protection from an abusive parent. I stopped and thought about it.
The hard part for me is this.
Why is it so important for the medical, legal community to fight to keep other people alive?
Bear with me here, I am trying to keep my child alive, despite what negative outcomes could arise from the treatment. The doctors warned us that she could have some difficulty post-treatment.
The National Children’s Cancer Society recently sent me a flyer with an upcoming seminar regarding the long-term side effects of treatment. Perhaps you got that one too?
I just find it curious that so many people have decided that the Hausers are dastardly because they might have chosen what is a stupid route. Obviously they have changed their minds, and will submit willingly to the poison.
I also agree with you that *most* parents shoot for the moon to keep their kids alive. Two ends of the spectrum here…… what about the ones that want to avoid the treatments and allow the child to die with dignity. Well, maybe there aren’t any of those, but on the other end, what about the ones that want to use herbal supplements to support and encourage the return to health. *Some* people,(perhaps the same ones who would criticize the Hausers for doing nothing) would say that using herbs is going to far.
Some comments about faith above were interesting. The Witnesses die all the time because they won’t take blood products. Even young ones. When I researched about transfusions, I found one *judge* who allowed the child to make the decision to die.
I also fully understand that you labeled this post a RANT… and that usually means that you, well, are ranting. And of course, rants, are not meant to be logical. Emotionally you said… CRazy lady, try it… it might work. But perhaps you should have said. You dumbass teenager quit thinking that you are invincible, Cancer is serious!!!! The media loves a good circus. Just look at how many comments you’ve gotten.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing, somehow I’d missed this news story completely.
on May 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Anissa~ as I started to read this post, I realized I was holding my breath. I too have an opinion on this situation, but know that I have no real life experience that makes me feel the way I do.
As soon as I read the title, I wondered, “Anissa has been in this mother’s shoes – she has been given the diagnosis on her child – she has suffered through the anguish of exploring treatments – how does she feel?”
You answered eloquently, passionately. I agree with you – I can’t imagine as least TRYING – at least following the treatments that have the greatest chance at survival. But I say that from the comfort of my home, hearing my kids, who have not been affected by cancer, play in the next room.
You are a strong woman, an amazing mother – and truly your daughter’s best and most fantastic advocate. She is lucky you would go to the ends of the earth for her.
xoxo
ExtraordinaryMommys last blog post..The value in friendships – Why Moms Matter