This Boy’s Life

This morning when I got on the computer I noticed that I was hit #666 for the day. GREAT, now I’m feeling like the “Satan’s Blog”. Fantastic way to start off the day.

Peyton did the clingy please-don’t-make-me-stay-here-with-these-people-they’re-weird thing at the door of her classroom this morning. And of course, I’m thinking “you don’t want to hang with these kids because they’re weird but you want to go home with ME?” I guess it’s all about the weird you know, right? Again, she was in a fantastic mood when I picked her up so I know she’s loving the school thing, even if mornings are a hard separation.

I had a doctor appointment this morning to get results from a biopsy I had to have last week. Before that statement totally freaks you out, it was a pretty standard routine thing to have done in prep for a procedure I’m having in March. No biggie. However, with the words biopsy and pathology report in the same sentence as my name, I started to feel a little queasy going into the office. Thankfully, everything came out perfect, everything is as it should be and now we shall do a little dance!!! I’m dancing right now, be thankful you can’t see it.

I’m also dancing because of the Giants’ FANTASTIC show last night. It was an awesome game, I’m so glad I watched and I had the pleasure of enjoying it at my friend Mary Ann’s. She throws a fantastic shindig and we had a blast, plus she’s a Pats fan and I loved being able to rub that in her face. Yeah, my house would fit in her master bathroom, but her team LOST!!! There was a great shot of Tom Brady’s face as he walked off the field and truly if I could have that picture blown up, framed and hung over my bed…well, let’s just say my life would be a happier place. LOVED IT!!!

In light of all that our friends the Gliddons have been through in the past few months, it’s been hard to stand by and feel like there’s nothing I can do. There’s a group of us as cancer parents that stand around and feel like we SHOULD be able to do something but there isn’t anything. The words that we say have already been said and that doesn’t make anything better, there is nothing we can do or try to make this situation bearable for them. It’s awful, no one should have to lay in bed with their child and wonder from moment to moment what’s happening in their body. Can I just tell you what a sick feeling that is, to lay awake for hours, just considering the possibilities, letting the fear run rampant and knowing that it doesn’t help, but there’s no way to stop your mind. It hit me that feeling useless in the face of their situation, feeling pointless in their greatest pain must be what all of our friends and family felt for us when we were diagnosed.

I remember all the wonderful people who called, who brought meals, who showed up with gifts for the kids, who offered anything to help us through, who just showered us with blessings of support and encouragement. The hundreds of cards and emails that flooded in, the hugs and tears on our behalf. And it didn’t help her cancer. It didn’t make it go away, it didn’t make her hair stay, it didn’t make it better when she laid in bed and cried from the pain. But knowing that we were loved and that if I needed it I could reach out and someone would be there for me, that helped me get up to deal with another day. It helped to always have someone to talk to, to cry to, to just sit in silence, to pray with. It did help. And I sure hope that in our inability to help our friends, we are still able to do that much.

And to end the post on a high note, Nathaniel is 10. I think 10 may be a rough year for me.

We love the movie Hairspray, the new one, not the older John Waters version. The newer, shiny, kid-friendlier redo that came out last year. The kids love the music, we listen to the soundtrack almost daily…we love the movie, the kids can practically quote the entire thing….and oh you have not LIVED until you’ve watched Peyton dance to it. I’m going to have to get that on video and youtube it for you, it’s a hoot! But as the newness wears off, the kids start noticing things they didn’t notice the first 342 times they watched it. So tonight Nathaniel comes to me with this one:

“Why were they stuffing things down their shirts?”

“Well…they were trying to make their boobs look bigger than they really were.” ?yes, that’s what we call them in our house, I don’t know what you call them in yours, and I don’t know if I really WANT to know.

So, he thinks about that for a minute. I move onto a whole different ANYthing to try to move past where this conversation is leading….because I have SEEN the movie, I know what’s coming next, I know what scene he is talking about and I don’t have to call my psychic friends network to know what his next question is going to be.

“So, why were they stuffing socks down their pants?”

OH SHOOT ME NOW!

“Umm….welll….still with the trying to make things bigger than they appear.
‘
“Oh, you mean their penis?”

I think at this point I had a mild heart attack, I definitely felt some popping sensations going on.

“Yeah, that.”

“Why would you want that to be bigger?”

At this moment in time, I am seriously loathing Peter for being safe in GA while I am handling this situation. HE should be dealing with these questions, this was part of his DAD job requirement! I do all the girly bits and pieces, HE has to do this talk.

“I have NO IDEA, maybe their pants were falling down.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

So, I’m just waiting until the next time I remind him to put on his belt….”No, it’s ok, mom, I’m waiting on some growth to keep them up!”

Good luck to you there, son.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
–Anissa