Back to school

Peyton’s classmates met her at the door this morning with big smiles and applause…she returned their open affection by frowning and pushing past them to hang up her backpack. She’s a charmer, that one. It was hard for her to get back into the groove of going back to school, she would have been perfectly happy with just skipping the last few days of school to cling to my side. However, as I was developing a friction burn from her co-dependency, I opted to make her go and be social for yet a few more days. She had a good time, no matter how much she tries to pretend she doesn’t, I have my sources and I hear the happy tales.

I spent the day catching up on errands and getting some things accomplished…not everything by any means, but a start was made in the list of “to do’s”. I feel like there’s a lot of catching up to do before I get completely swamped with the rush of summertime go-go-go with the kids.

Rachael’s birthday is just around the corner, next Friday she turns 7! She decided at the last minute that she wants to have a pony party, which we are lucky that we have a friend that does exactly that. However, this is the child that refused to actually get ON the pony the last time we were with them…so I’m not exactly sure what she expects to get from this experience. We are also in a time scramble because there is no way that we can organize that before next weekend, there are so many things going on in the next few weeks and I just hope that we are able to squeeze in a fun birthday party for her.

The kids and I headed down to the CCC early this afternoon to take part in a photo session for the new website. The kids were clean, cute and full of goofiness. I can’t wait to see the outcome and they are excited to see themselves on the Center website.

Instead of our normal group meeting tonight, we had a drum circle. It was a really good way to break things up, maybe a nice way to start back to group after such a long spell of heart ache. Everyone…kids, parents, staff, volunteers…banged on drums, rattled maracas, shook tambourines, made a huge general racket. It was awesome. There was no “share your feeling” moments tonight, which was probably a good thing, because there really didn’t need to be 20 moments of “I feel sad, I feel scared, I feel angry, I don’t know what to do with it, this sucks”. We all know it, we all feel it. We were able to share in a much more casual environment, without a formal group setting, just roaming from conversation to conversation…we were able to laugh and joke and that is so precious. There is really no way to explain how being with these other parents, these families and these amazing children help me regroup and focus. One might think it would be harder to face going back each time, but even though it is in one way, it comforts me in a greater way.

Tomorrow will be the 3rd funeral in 4 weeks. I will be going to say goodbye to little Kaylie Gunn tomorrow, a child who had 9 short months before cancer came into her life. She had precious few times when she was able to be home and just enjoying time with her mother and grandparents, but she did enjoy them when she had the chance. She was loved by anyone who had the opportunity to get to know her. She was all gorgeous big eyes and smiles and she will be remembered and loved forever.

I did some updating on “Our Friends” page….adding friends, updating photos of old friends (it’s just awesome to see how much some have grown and changed!), devoting the end of the page to remembering the sweet children who have passed. Before I didn’t separate the children who’ve been lost from the ones who are still living, but now I want to make sure that if you come to this site, and you see that page, you are struck by the true meaning of their loss. I don’t want anyone to forget that those children are loved, cherished and remembered.

f.r.o.G..fully relying on God
–Anissa