Our lives are changing

So, it used to be that Peyton’s biggest worries were that Dora would get erased from Tivo before she got a chance to watch it and that Nathaniel and Rachael might get more than her. More of what? Who knows or cares, but if they got more of it, it was going to blow her day.

She’s had a rough few days here, which is a horrible understatement, but that’s the only way to put it. She’s scared of strangers, I think she’s worried about who’s going to do what to her now. When she feels insecure, she puts her hand over the little lump in her chest that is her port, just cradling it as if to protect it. She already knows that it all started when she got that port, so she must be careful with it. She cries at the least little discomfort….this from a child that cracked her head on a daily basis and shook it off like it was nothing. My fireball of energy winds down and just wants to lay on your lap, put her head on the pillow and rest.

I want my cheerful child back, the one with a smile all day long. I know it’s going to be a long road to a full recovery and she’ll learn to cope with all the changes happening in her body. A part of me worries that I’ve lost that carefree child forever, that’s she’s going to have developed these fears that will stay with her forever. What is the right way to help a 2 year old cope?

—-Anissa