This site has seen my family through many good times and bad in the past. It’s time to dust it off and re-purpose it a bit.
This is that old comfortable pair of blue jeans you put on when you’ve got some work to do.
And we’ve got some work to do.
So, right now, I’m sitting on my couch, watching the exact same show I watched the first night when Peyton was diagnosed. I just needed to hear the theme song really. It’s kind of funny that the same episode is on….”Enterprise: The Expanse”. I really should be writing checks to bills that are piling up already and starting to organize my life and figuring out my wife’s “unique” filing system.
Why?
On Tuesday, Anissa suffered a massive stroke. Then had another one sometime after the first MRI.
I was speechless and in some form of shock (still am) when the ER doctor told me this. How could this be? I was chatting with her not an hour ago. We had both just agreed to give up our Christmas presents so we could stay in a nicer hotel over Thanksgiving while taking care of Anissa’s mom. We were hoping we could finally give the kids our full attention for the first time in forever. I was going to look up an old friend who has some pull at Riddle and see about getting a tour of the flight line for them. Nathaniel’s at that age, and the girls would think it’s cool too. We were going to grab a bite under the Port Orange bridge in the salty air, maybe even hit the Ocean Deck.
And now there she was with tubes in her mouth and unconscious?
How?
What we know is that she called me around 1:20 pm and said, “Somethings wrong with me. I’m at a restaurant and just collapsed. They are calling an ambulance.” Then she hung up and didn’t respond to any calls. Those were the last words I heard her say.
Since then it’s been one head doctor after another, some picture taking, grim looks, and waiting. Lots and lots of waiting.
News of the second stroke was definitely not encouraging. The first ER doctor said something about 20% survival rate, and he pretty much expected her to go anytime soon. (Understand that’s what I heard/interpretted…in shock…may not be exactly what he said). The neurologist just kinda looked at it and mumbled some words that didn’t sound encouraging. She bled into the PONS area of the brain. Haven’t had the chance to google that, so I set some friends on it to filter for me…not good news…but playing Dr. Google rarely gives good news.
I really just keep feeling like I’m in a bad dream. Do these people not realize who they are dealing with? This is Anissa Mayhew. The strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She’s thirtyfreakinfive and can move mountains with her smile. She can beat this.
There was some hand squeezing the first evening. Baby step, but encouraging.
Then came the news of the second bleed.
That’s when I decided to bring the kids up. If she was going to go, I wanted them to have a chance to see her. I wanted them to give her a fighting chance and for her to hear and remember in some remote part of that brain exactly who and what she was fighting for.
So, the director of the hospital agreed to let the kids in. They donned masks and trudged up to her room. They knew mom was bad and that she hadn’t opened her eyes and had tubes keeping her alive. They talked a little bit, were afraid a little bit, and sad too. But God bless my kids. They are all too familiar with hospital trips. 2 of them have been visiting hospitals for more than half of their lives. They told her how much they loved her. They are strong. They get that from their mom.
About twenty minutes after they left, Anissa started fighting. A little at first. But, it’s always darkest before the light.
She started showing signs that she’s in there. There was more movement on her left side. Somewhat coordinated turning of the head and reaching with her arm to get the tube out of her mouth. She opened her eyes briefly. Thursday, she opened her eyes a fair amount. There’s no recognition in there yet. But I believe that will come. She’s turned her head to acknowledge a different voice. All of this wears her out quickly, but she’s fighting. That’s encouraging in itself.
Now what?
Someone is with her around the clock. The cavalry came up when they first heard the news. I have gotten MANY questions of how can I help and what do I need. I hear you all, and appreciate every single offer. Please understand though, this is a marathon, not a sprint. IF she comes out of this, it will be a long road to recovery. Each of you will be able to help over the course of time. I’ll make sure of it. Right now, my kids need consistancy and people they know and trust. That’s addressed. Anissa and I need the experience of someone who’s been there and done that with regard to the brain. That’s also addressed. Lastly, she needs to hear familiar voices. Check. People are coming out of the woodwork to offer to help, and it is very much appreciated, but please understand that it may not be now that we need your help. We’re covered through this week and next I think. The Tampa Badge Bowl gang has graciously agreed to take care of Thanksgiving dinner. My job has been absolutely AMAZING on this. We definitely are surrounded by love. He’s made sure of that. I’m going to set up a controlled scheduling site so that people can sign up to help with things.
At this point, mostly what we need is prayer. To my knowledge, I know of prayer chains in Europe, Africa, and North America. Several small towns are praying. Friends old and new, and complete strangers are praying. That’s exactly what we need now. Pray for her to make it through one more night with no more bleeding. Pray for the blood in her head to recede. Pray for her to come out of this.
Please pray for our family. `
I’m going to need to lean on you all. I’m not as strong as she is.
–Peter
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I know you don’t know me, but I’m one of the hundreds of nutty women that chats with your wife daily via twitter, blogs, and the rest.
Lean on me. Lean on us. LEAN as much as you need to. We are here. In droves.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Wow!! All I can say is that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.. I met Anissa at the Type A Mom Conference and so very blessed to have met such a beautiful person inside and out.
I pray that our heavenly father will wrap his arms around Anissa and her family.
I pray for peace and comfort for Peter and the children and the immediate family.
I pray that they will have the courage to withstand your final decision and give Anissa the strength to continuing fighting.
God Bless.
Hugs,
Dr. Daisy aka Dr. Mommy
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I just spent 2 hours reading Anissa’s blogs. I have never met her but would love the chance. The love she feels for her family and friends is evident in every single post.
Peter, you, Anissa and your beautiful children will be in my prayers until Anissa is back home where she belongs.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Peter,
Your message touched my soul. Your Annisa, you, your children, & extended family are in our thoughts and prayers. May you have the strenght you need during this time – to help each other and Anissa. May all of you experience the healing of God’s loving heart and the comfort that you need.
Know that you are loved,
sno_buny
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
[…] is about being positive! I also want to take a minute today and ask that you all say a prayer for Anissa. She suffered a stroke on Tuesday and is TOO YOUNG! We need to pull together and think positive […]
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Anissa and family, you are in my constant thoughts and prayers.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I heard of your wife’s health problem on Uprinting, please know that I am praying for your entire family and wishing you the strengh for whatever is to come!
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
I found out about this story after so many other blogs I read have linked to it or referenced it in some way. Add another person who’s praying for all of you. I just can’t imagine – but, if there’s any silver lining in all of this, it sounds as if you have an amazing support network, which is such a blessing.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Definite thoughts and prayers are with you all. My mom had a stroke at 55 (young but not as young as your dear wife) and is fine now. I hope you take comfort in that!! ((HUGS))
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Peter and family,
Many often wonder why these things happen…first Anissa and then Peyton now Anissa again….
Look at how many people have turned to God and are praying for you. There is your reason. Anissa touches so many lives and is helping bring us closer to Him.
I am praying, I’ve asked everyone to pray….may God’s healing hand touch Anissa and your entire family.
I’ve only known her through the blog comment conversations we’ve had…but she has brought a smile to my face on many occasions. I hope this email brings a little peace to you tonight.
Stay strong…you and the kids are her everything and from the looks of things, she has a lot.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Peter, I am just a stranger, but your strength as shown in the post is really inspiring. You are blessed with so many strong support groups. I will be doing my part by praying for Anissa and your family.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Peter, Praying for you, Nathaniel, Rachael, Peyton, and of course Anissa.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I know I came and commented earlier, but wanted to come back and say how much I can’t wait for the post that she is back on her way to being with all of us who miss her fiercely.
Prayers have been constant since I found out.
She is one amazing lady
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Dear Peter…just found Anissa’s blog page as Sheila Walsh posted this link…just wanted to let you know that our ministry and many many people and partners are praying for Anissa and you and your family.
on facebook we are James 5:16 Ministries and our blog is http://www.james516ministries.blogspot.com
the prayer request blog is
http://www.prayertimetuesday.blogspot.com
We are praying for a miracle!!
Char Smits
President, James 5:16 Ministries
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
My God, I am praying for Anissa, you and your children. Thank you for sharing what’s happening with all of us. Blessings blessings blessings and positive, healing thoughts. Here for the long haul and hoping for Anissa’s quick and complete recovery. ((Hugs))
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Tonight we were watching the Wizard of Oz and the Wizard said something that made me think of Anissa, “A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.” Anissa, you must have quite the heart!
Peter, just let us know what you need and when. We’re not going anywhere… you’re kind of stuck with this big, crazy, boob-talking extended Internet family. When you feel like you just can’t take another step, I hope you can find some strength in that.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Praying for you and Anissa, Peter, as well as the children. May you feel God’s presence and peace.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Praying for Anissa and your entire family…praying also for her doctors to have wisdom with regard to her care.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
You are all in my daily prayers. I pray that Anissa will make a full recovery. Lean all you want, we are here for you!!!
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Sending prayers and strength.
on Nov 20th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Another set of prayers coming from someone who doesn’t know you, but has read enough to see how strong she is. Sounds like the cavalry is just getting started, and it’s amazingly strong of you to be ready to ask for help already.
Glad to hear you and the kids are surrounded by loving arms and supports, and at last count, about 20 million prayers.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:01 am
I don’t have words.. but do have prayers!
(|_|*to Anissa*|_|)
“We acquire the strength we have overcome.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:03 am
I’ve never visited your blog or heard of Anissa before today.
I came here via Uprinting network.
But I know I can pray. I will pray for you and Anissa and your kids.
blessings.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:12 am
Will pray for all your family. Anissa sounds very special. Hang in there & trust God.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:12 am
praying
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:12 am
praying in Orange County….
I met your wife in Chicago at Blogher, and I loved her immediately. I can’t imagine what you are going through, so I won’t pretend to. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:15 am
I’m a firm believer in prayer and will do what I can to pray for Annisa’s recovery and your family’s strength through this all. God bless you and lift you up during this challenging time.
Tanya
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:18 am
I don’t know you or your family but know that my little corner of MN is praying for you and yours.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:34 am
Prayers for you and your family from Canada, Peter.
When it’s time to set up a “co-ordinate the volunteers” website, you might want to check into carecalendar.org – it looks pretty good. (I’m not affiliated with the site, but I had it in my bookmarks.)
Blessings to you all.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 12:55 am
Prayers for complete healing. Prayers for peace and comfort. Prayers for doctors’ wisdom and caregiving.
Prayers for all of you.
Love and hugs to you!
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 1:06 am
Dearest family…just a stranger in Omaha, NE that happened to fall upon your site through another bloggers. God is such a gentleman…he wont push Himself upon you so the fact you asked for prayer is such a wonderful thing!! Praying for your whole family for patience, love, health, strength and so much more during this time. Praying for those that love you and support you to continue to put your needs in front of all else during this time. God will provide. He has her hand. Many hugs from a stranger. I will pray daily for you and yours. In HIS name. Amen.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 1:11 am
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 1:14 am
You and your family are being prayed for in Northern California.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 1:25 am
Peter,
God only gives us what we can handle; even though it feels like he has given you and your family more than a lifetime of hurt and pain- out of it comes a stronger bond with God, your family, friends, and strangers. I hope that you can find the strength in knowing that God has not and will never leave you and your family in this time of need.
I am praying for Anissa in Price, Utah, and will ask the Priest and congregation to pray for her, your family, and all of the doctor’s and nurse’s who are caring for her.
Prayers-and-love,
Chacoy
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 1:48 am
May angels surround you, Anissa, and your children with love and comfort. Continuous prayers from Phoenix AZ
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 2:27 am
Praying for the bleeding to subside… no more stroking… praying for signs you know Anissa is with you… fighting … praying that the Lord will heal where doctors mumble and shake their heads… no way to explain what happened, why it happened… but God can make a way… Praying for your kids, for you… knowing that all we have is the moment and praying for hope for a future….
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 2:28 am
Thank you, Peter, for taking the time and care to share with us what has been going on. Your remarkable wife has left her inimitable imprint on so many! The strength she has lent to others can only come back tenfold at a time like this. Like someone else said, I’d walk to the end of the world for her if she needed me to, and I’m holding her, you and the kids close in my heart.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 2:51 am
Praying for you all.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 3:01 am
I don’t know your wife personally but I happened to hear about this tragedy through another blog I follow. I am so sorry to hear about this news and I will be sure to keep your wife and family in my prayers. It sounds as if you wife is a very strong person and I fully believe she will come out of this stronger then ever!
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 3:12 am
prayers from california for anissa and your whole family. sending you strength to get through this.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 3:40 am
I am sitting here reading this, and crying my eyes out. I saw the link through Janine Nickel, and Jessicaknows aka Jessica Smith, my wife. I am sitting here thinking I can’t believe I am sitting here crying for a woman I don’t know. Then I think of my son without his mom, and I understand it. I normally don’t pray, but I will pray every day until Anissa can hold her kids again.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 4:43 am
I’d never been to your wife’s blog before this week…then suddenly I saw one friend and another blog I read say “Pray for Anissa!” and link here and to the caringbridge site. I’ve been checking in and praying ever since.
I can’t imagine what you and your family is going through…I will continue to pray!
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 5:38 am
You, Anissa and your kids are in my prayers. I found out about Anissa through a friend of her’s website so I am one of those who don’t know you, but am praying for you and sending good vibes and love. … Keep fighting, Anissa!!!! You will make it through this!
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 5:52 am
praying for you all!!!
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 6:32 am
oh peter, that was absolutely beautiful writing. i am so sorry this is happening to you and yours, there is just no reason for you to be living this nightmare right now. she knows she has a beautiful family to fight for, and she WILL come out of it, just for you. any help you need will come your way, that’s what this community is for.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 8:17 am
[…] suffered from a stroke a few days ago. It landed her in the ICU. She is 35 years […]
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 8:24 am
Continuing to pray for Anissa and all of you. Stay strong.
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 8:28 am
Praying from my little corner in Africa. She’s a fighter! 🙂
on Nov 21st, 2009 at 8:34 am
Continued prayers and blessings to Anissa, you, and your family. While the coming months may be difficult for you, you will have the support of prayer behind you. Wishing and praying for a healthy recovery.