Peter asked me to post this little story. It falls under that TMI heading, but I truly think that you’ll enjoy it because it’s one of those events that could really only happen to me. Please don’t feel required to read this next part unless you truly enjoy an embarrassing story at someone else’s expense.
When you lose and gain weight you often have clothes that you keep from both ends of that spectrum. Most people have those clothes you just don’t quite fit into anymore, or not in a way that is acceptable to be seen in public…and some have their comfy clothes, things that are way too big and perhaps just a great reminder of where your body has been.
I have both in my closet and drawers.
Last Sunday I headed to church with no real concern about the before-mentioned clothing issue. But quickly found out there are certain pieces of clothing that you absolutely DO NOT KEEP when they are too big for you.
After dropping off the kids to the children’s church, I started walking across this long walkway to the adult church. That was the moment I realized that I had on a pair of underwear that was too loose. How did this miraculous discovery come about? Because the skirt I was wearing was slowly working the underwear down my hips. About halfway between buildings…of COURSE it would be halfway between buildings, don’t you know…I realized that the underwear vs skirt conflict was quickly being won by the skirt and my underwear was about to fall around my ankles. I sped up thinking that I would get to the bathroom quicker.
Yeah, not so much with the helping.
The skirt was victorious.
I had to clamp my hand to the side of the skirt in an attempt to keep the underwear from falling completely to the ground and having to shuffle into the sanctuary with my new lacy ankle bracelet. Once in the safety of the bathroom I had to make a miserable decision to throw away my underwear and attend church sans undergarment.
I did this because:
A. I didn’t want to go through the experience of having my skirt launch a full-scale attack against them again
B. I figure God has a pretty darn good sense of humor to let this happen at church anyway and would only get another chuckle from having my underwear fall out of my purse
Really. Yes, at CHURCH! Commando at church. Why me?
on Oct 13th, 2008 at 8:01 am
[…] See, our house is really a very casually naked house. The kids run around in the nude, they take great glee at catching me unaware with a big shiny mooning. They flop around in the buff after the shower and enjoy a sweet breeze on their gibblety-bits. No big deal. We aren’t starting a commune but we don’t run from nature’s most natural state. […]